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Product Description:
When Ashley bought a universal remote for her roommate, she didn’t realize that it really controlled EVERYTHING!

See, Jessica was a power hungry little creature. Being that she was a mere 4’10”, she had somewhat of a Napoleon complex. It didn’t really bother Ashley that her roommate felt the need to be in control of everything, including the TV. As long as Jessica didn’t have one of her angry power rages and break all of Ashley’s collectors trinkets from all the cereal and Cracker Jack boxes that she had ever open, she didn’t really care what Jessica was in control of.

That’s why she bought her the remote. Every time Jessica would lose the remote to one of the numerous TVs in their apartment, she would go on a rampage. Now, she would be able to control the TV no matter who had the usual remote, she could even carry the remote to other people’s houses and control what they were watching there. At least that was all that Ashley thoughts she would be able to do.

Little did she know, that her friend was given the one remote in the world that was able to control not only any TV in the world, but she was actually able to control the world itself. Jessica has in her hands the one device that could actually destroy the world. She can pause people, play people, rewind, fast forward, and mute any person or situation that she wants.  As ingenious as this device seems, in the hands of a power hungry sorority sister, it might not be as cool as you think.

If only Ashley would have gotten Jessica the Philips Universal Remote Jessica wouldn’t be planning on taking over the world to make it into her pink and fluffy kingdom. We wouldn’t be able to be programmed to act as her slaves and to eat only celery for the rest of our lives. She wouldn’t be able to fst forward and end our lives at the click of a button, if she doesn’t like what we say or do. Sure, she would still be able to control virtually every TV in the history the world since 1990, but wouldn’t you rather that then be controlled by a pink control freak?

That’s what I thought.

Anyways, thanks Ashley for this devastating future that lay ahead of us. We know you meant the best but seriously, you screwed up. Next get the Philips Universal Remote. If there is a next times, that is.

Product Features:
The Philips Universal Remote consolidates all your entertainment remotes into one.
This remote works with over 625 brands.
The remote is compatible with all AV devices from all brands since 1990.
Keep updated for future devices via integrated learning keys.
This remote was designed specifically for use with SAT/CABLE devices.
The remote stores setup codes even when changing batteries.
Easy set up allows you to just insert batteries, enter codes, and enjoy hours of channel controlling.
Requires 2 AA batteries (not included)

What You Get:
Philips Universal Remote
User Guide

New Retail Packaging
1 Year Warranty