You just caused the Apocalypse and all you can say is, “My bad”?
Jason was on an archaeological expedition in Egypt in December of 2012. It wasn't a usual routine for him, but the opportunity to meet up with some accomplished archaeologists for a long weekend wasn't something he was going to pass up. Plus, with Christmas coming up he was hoping to snag some unique gifts for his family back home. He met up with the team in Cairo and after spending the night in the city getting acquainted with one another, they retired until early next morning with big plans on their minds.
The site was the Bent Pyramid, not too far south from Cairo. It was constructed sometime around 2600 BC during the reign of Pharaoh Sneferu. The pyramid wasn't as publicly heralded as the Great Pyramid of Giza built under the rule of Sneferu's son, Khufu, but is known as an important milestone in the construction of the pyramids. The base of the pyramid shoots up at 55°, but then changes to 43° at the upper levels due to instability. The result is a pyramid that looks “bent” at the top and contains much more importance than anyone had imagined.
While exploring the inner cavern and the temple, Jason asked why this was chosen as the site, since it seemed this area had already been explored a hundred times over.
“Just when you are certain that everything is known is the moment you can be sure it isn't,” Jorge said casually, tilting his head sideways while continuing to walk forward into the dark tunnel.
Jorge had a hunch, apparently, that there was something more to this pyramid than people were giving it credit for. In the temple room, barren of any inscriptions, he took a long time studying the integrity of the walls. Jason stood by, soaking in the wonder of being in such a room in the first place and also handing Jorge tools when requested. After nearly three hours, Jorge backed up from the wall he was examining and charged into in it like a football linebacker. The small section crumbled to reveal an entirely different room. A stark contrast to the rest of the temple, this room was littered with hieroglyphics and contained a tomb atop a platform.
“You go check out the tomb, I want to read these inscriptions,” Jorge said to Jason.
The tomb was incredibly old and had the dust to show it. Jason swept it off the top to reveal more hieroglyphics. He admired the intricate designs for a minute before straining his body to remove the lid of the tomb.
“Wait, don't!” Jorge yelled out just a moment too late. The tomb was opened and the ghost of Sneferu himself shot out in a chaotic display of blue and green lights, twirling upwards together before combining in the form of a mighty Pharaoh.
“Finally, I am released! Now I shall lay siege upon this terrible world and all those who inhabit it!”
Jason and Jorge shared looks of terror as the apparition suddenly disappeared. It couldn't be a coincidence that it was exactly one week from December 21, 2012.
Four days later, back in the United States, I was watching the news intently. The military still was no match for the giant mutant gingers that began destroying everything a few days ago. I had turned the television on with my Logitech Harmony 200 Remote to find that a man named Jason Stallworth was responsible for releasing some kind of spirit that was seemingly bringing about the Apocalypse. A shot of New York City being terrorized by a 300ft mutant ginger kid was coupled with a tag line at the bottom of the screen that read, Jason Stallworth: “Oops … my bad.”
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Condition: Factory Recertified
Packaging: Hassle-Free
Warranty: 90 Day
Brand: Logitech
Model: Harmony 200
Product Features:
• Pair up to 3 devices
• Supports 5,000+ brands and 225,000 devices
• “Watch TV” button turns on TV and cable box
• DVR and movie controls
• Large, easy to use buttons
• Online library updates remote for new devices
• USB connection
• Requires 2 AA batteries (not included)
What You Get:
• Logitech Harmony 200 Remote
• USB Cable
• Manual
