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I had trained an American Alligator to protect the bathroom from the riff raff.
I awoke to the sound of a trio crows cawing outside of my window. I rubbed my eyes and removed my New Kids on the Block comforter which my mother had purchased for me in 1988. I stumbled down the hallway, passing my collection of Keytars which I had purchased exclusively on Ebay. I had 35 to be exact. I had trained an American Alligator to protect the bathroom from the riff raff but he seemed to sleeping. I woke him up and whispered the secret password in the place on his head that resembled an ear. He nodded and slowly moved out of the way and I was able to enter the bathroom and relieve myself. After I finished, I slid down the fire pole which I had installed in bathroom by cutting a giant hole in the bathroom floor. After I slid down to the first floor and opened the refrigerator. Bummer, I was out of food. I knew what had happened. Every day at approximately 10 am the neighborhood hobo attempted to break into my house and steal all of the food in my fridge. This happened every day; it was a vicious game of cat and mouse. Yes, I could call the police, but what’s the point, right? Unfortunately I had forgotten to set the alarm on my Memorex MI4604P Mini Clock Radio. It always wakes me up so I’m able to shoo the hobo away with my broom and an air horn. Guess I’ll have to go to the grocery store and buy more Greek Yogurt and thin sliced pastrami.

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Condition: New
Packaging: Box   
Warranty: 1 Year
Brand: Memorex
Model: MI4604P
 
Product Features:
•    Ultra simple alarm settings (wake to iPod, radio, or buzzer)
•    Digital FM radio with station presets, includes FM antenna
•    Line-in jack to connect other audio devices
•    Set for every day, weekends, or just weeknights
•    Sleep Timer
•    Includes AC adapter, battery backup for time (uses 2 AAA batteries not included)
•    Dimmer function

What You Get:
•    Memorex MI4604P Mini Alarm Clock Radio
•    AC Adapter
•    FM Antenna